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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?